all that i had was all i gon' get

my favorite everythings

portraits

The Un-Loving of You

 by Kate Van Raden

I’m letting you go,

I’m giving you back,

Each bit of your self that I’ve kept…

I returned those eye brows,

and a few of your teeth,

I packed them and hummed as I wept…

I shipped off your thighs in a box with some fingers,

the larger ones only, for now…

When you asked for your shoulders

I blinked back a frown,

But I let you take them,

And some lashes I’d found.

Now, the chuckle was harder,

I was still using that

And without your soft hair,

I just can’t hang my hat

But I do understand that you need these things back

So I try to be gracious, although it’s an act.

The hard part is coming

And I know I’ll feel lost

with no way to smell,

Or to taste, or to talk…

See, I cherish your lips

still so familiar,

and your eyes that melt chocolate for me…

There’s a crook in your nose

that it’s not yours without,

and I’m starting to feel a bit empty…

At last to my treasures

high on a shelf…

to your voice and your skin and your hands,

I hoped I could keep these forever,

but your starting to list your demands…

I can’t bear to imagine the woman who gets these,

I break down each time at the thought.

They’ve been mine for so long,

I just couldn’t tell you

how I’ll go on when they’re not…

Almost nothing is left here

You’ve taken it all

so we’ve parted, I get it, I’ll go…

but I wonder if I could compel you

the compassion to leave me a toe…?

http://katevanraden.wordpress.com/

there is light

There is light beyond what I have come to know.

evolution

a picture of jeff

my first sketch

oil pastels

We walked around til the moon got full like a plate

i'm trying to chose a picture to start a painting from...

before sunrise

 You know what drives me crazy? It's all these people talking about how great technology is, and how it saves all this time. But, what good is saved time, if nobody uses it? If it just turns into more busy work. You never hear somebody say, "With the time I've saved by using my word processor, I'm gonna go to a Zen monastery and hang out". I mean, you never hear that. 

jesse

I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. It's just usually it's myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven't been. I've never had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers. Y'know, I've never, um, gone to the movies, when I wasn't there in the audience. I've never been out bowling, if I wasn't there, y'know making some stupid joke. I think that's why so many people hate themselves. Seriously, it's just they are sick to death of being around themselves. 

jesse

Let's say that you and I were together all the time, then you'd start to hate a lot of my mannerisms. The way every time we would have people over, uh, I'd be insecure, and I'd get a little too drunk. Or, uh, the way I'd tell the same stupid pseudo-intellectual story again, and again. Y'see, I've heard all those stories. So of course I'm sick of myself. But being with you, uh, it's made me feel like I'm somebody else. 

jesse

When you talked earlier about after a few years how a couple would begin to hate each other by anticipating their reactions or getting tired of their mannerisms-I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone-the way he's going to part his hair, which shirt he's going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he'd tell in a given situation. I'm sure that's when I know I'm really in love. 

celine

Why is it, that a dog, sleeping in the sun, is so beautiful, y'know, it is, it’s beautiful, but a guy, standing at a bank machine, trying to take some money out, looks like a complete moron? 

jesse

 I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making it look my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?    

celine