my sympathy runs to the lame and crippled and beautiful things

I don't know about other people's sympathy, but my sympathy runs to the lame and crippled and beautiful things. I have a feeling of loss of power - something like a reincarnation feeling; I don't feel that for mechanical things like cars or schools.

Bob Dylan - Playboy Interview - February 1966

flakes are good at letting things happen naturally

"I’m a flake… But sometimes it comes in handy, ‘cause flakes are good at letting things happen naturally, even if they’re disasters, complete disasters."

Jeff Buckley - august 1995 - RRR radio

that makes it 44

NOVEMBER 17th. happy birthday jeff

(jeffbuckley.com)

We were both overly sensitive and needed shelter from the storm

“Bobby had an impish charm that older women found endearing, though my mother was immune. He was aware of it and used it when he could. But in general he was shy around people. He had a habit of pumping the air with his knees, a kind of marching in place, whether standing or sitting—all jumpy. Onstage he did it in tune to the music. He looked good, despite his floppy clothes. He had a natural charisma, and people paid attention to him.
At the height of his Woody Guthrie phase, he talked through his teeth and when he laughed he would toss back his head and make a cracking ha ha sound or a small ha, with fingers covering his mouth. His walk was a lurch in slow motion. He had a touch of arrogance, a good dose of paranoia, and a wonderful sense of the absurd.
It was very important t him at that time t write as he spoke. Writin like speech an without havin any punctuation or t write out the word to.
We got on really well, though neither one of us had any skin growing over our nerve endings. We were both overly sensitive and needed shelter from the storm. But Bobby was also tough and focused, and he had a healthy ego. The additional ingredients protected the intense sensitivity. As an artist he had what it took to become a success.»”

— Suze Rotolo, “A Freewheelin’ Time”

A phrase began to beat in my ears with a sort of heady excitement: 'There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy, and the tired-The Great Gatsby

before sunset

Grace Woodroofe

I remember reading an article about her in January 2008. Grace Woodroofe. She went to school with Heath Ledger's half sister Ashleigh who sent Heath Grace's music.... and then he flew her out to LA, introduced her to Ben Harper... and so on. It's a fairy tale. And then of course Heath Ledger died...

Now her album is finally being released. You really should read this article from theaustralian.com.au/

One of the songs titled H... I think you know why, is heartbreakingly beautiful. One of those songs you listen to with your eyes closed, and builds and unregrettable saddness in you. I was almost too effected by Heath Ledger's death. I have a way of attaching myself to people I don't even know (Jeff Buckley...) I remember I went to New York City for the first time in November 2007, and you should have seen me. Walking through Chinatown, walking through Brooklyn, on the subways, just trying to find Heath Ledger. Then a week after I got home there were articles online of him riding the subways with Matilda looking like a homeless man thanksgiving week! Haha, why couldn't I have seen him! The week before he died I had started a portrait of him and his daughter, and I haven't been able to finish it. It's safe to say I'm a dramatic person... I went to London for my senior trip the summer after  he died and I had a list of places I knew he had been filming The Imaginirium of Doctor Parnassus. And then when I was lucky enough to go back to NYC in 2009, I stopped by the Soho apartment he had died in, and the Boerum Hill home he lived in with Michelle and Matilda... okay now I have sufficiently convinced anyone who reads this that I'm thoroughly obsessed with the man, but I guess only to show how I relate to this song. Aren't songs better when you know either what created them, or what makes them real to you? It's not like I wrote it with the dilusional fabrication of knowing him. But by a girl, my age, with a beautiful talent, who knew and lost an unreplaceble friend.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgnCONPrMF4

download the song -H.

her myspace

My dad wrote 4 words on a tiny piece of paper,
these are the stages you'll go through. He said
shock, anger, deep denying sadness,
in time acceptance will come too.
Oh, I wish I could fast-forward time, for that matter rewind.
I know you said time was blind,
now you are in a place that only exists in my mind.

I have this image of you leaning out the window,
your lungs encapsulating smoke,
but I would give everything to smell your cigarette's burning,
you were always so impassive when you spoke.

I feel you with me all the time,
your guiding hands lead mine,
but I miss the stories that you'd share,
and the little garments that you always used to wear.

I am wearing nothing but your love,
and I can honestly say
that I think about you everyday.

I have this image of you leaning out the window,
your lungs encapsulating smoke,
but I would give everything to smell your cigarette's burning,
you were always so impassive when you spoke.

Your house is empty, shelves are bare,
your presence felt, but you're not there.
That's where you sit, I mean where you sat,
I am still adjusting to getting used to that.
You won't show up at my door.
Wherever you are I hope you find
what you were searching for.

I’ve lied and often contradicted myself to dumbfound people

“Usually, I write the detailed biography of the character. For me it’s the only possible way. To play a sad scene, many will only for example think of their mother’s death. I consider it’s a mistake for an actor to cross the boundary that separates him from his character. Because then you impose him your own references. That’s why I need to have landmarks that only belong to my character. For example, for “My Own Private Idaho” I wrote a lot. And once the movie was done, I burned it all.”

“Honestly, I don’t think this way. I never think of me as an actor. I see all of this as new experiences each time, like as many different lives. As many reincarnations. So when I watch my last movie, I’m unable to judge or to be critical. For me, it’s past, and I don’t feel any connection to it anymore, like if it was somebody else than me that I’m not responsible for. I immersed myself in another life that the character appropriated. He expressed himself through me, not the other way around.”
"Absolutley, Quite often, when actors have such a strong charisma in real life, eventually it has to affect the characters they play. For myself I’m not charismatic in that way. I’m not a “performer”. Ideally I would stay mute as River. That’s the reason why, for a long time, I’ve said the opposite of what I really thought. In interviews, I’ve also played characters that I wasn’t. I’ve lied and often contradicted myself to dumbfound people. It’s all over now, because I have nothing left to hide. Eventually, I’m quite an ordinary person."

i'd like to raid their closets part 1

if your north star is your own personal development, you can't go wrong

ethan hawke in the winter's tale - 2009

Every now and then I suffer a little envy. I feel that if I had been more ambitious in a different way... But then I'm really fortunate that my interests take me in a bunch of different places and I really enjoy it. It's easy to let other people convince you that life is like a race. But there really is no finishing line. Nobody does win. With that in mind, I always feel that, if your north star is your own personal development, you can't go wrong.

Ethan Hawke

i used to be painfully jealous of him

River Phoenix, Ethan Hawke and Jason Presson in Explorers - 1985

I was friends with River Phoenix, you know, and I used to be painfully jealous of him. Until a friend pointed out that him doing well doesn’t mean that you’re doing badly. And if he does badly, it doesn’t mean you’re doing better. It’s like that great Gore Vidal line, ‘Whenever a friend of mine succeeds, a small part of me dies.’

Ethan Hawke - 2008 - Interview - Guardian.co.uk